District XII

Rampant Bourgeousie, or, How I Headbutted a Maserati

1:50pm, Friday September 18th: My head leaves a sizable dent in the door of a brand new Maserati. Ten stitches and a five hour hospital stay later, I make my way home. Cool.

Okay, so that’s the short version. Slightly less short version: Dude doesn’t quite understand what a two-way stop is, rolls through it ‘til is bumper is on the yellow line of the street he’s attempting to cross. I, at considerable speed, am attempting to traverse the very street which he has so courteously parked in the middle of. Okay, fine, I’ll just go around the front of his car; there’s a good foot and a half between his bumper and the yellow line. As I go to do so, buddy decides NOW IS THE TIME TO MOOOOOOOVE, and begins to move forward, blocking my trajectory. Shit.

I lock my back wheel and being to slide, but I can tell I’m not going to stop in time. I grab a fist-full of front brake…bad idea. Over the bars I go, my head bringing the full force of its might to bear on the driver’s door panel. Ouch.

Ambulances arrive, names are taken, blood runs profusely (two days later, I still feel light-headed when I stand up…that’s how much blood I’m missing). After a ride to the hospital on a plank, with my neck in one of those collars they give people with primo whiplash, we arrive at VGH. X-rays determine there’s nothing fucked up in my neck, which is cool. Apparently my thick-ass skull prevented any sort of concussion, too. Also cool. Bad news is, my scalp kind of split open from the impact…say hello to ten stitches.

So here I sit, ten stitches in my head. In retrospect, I’m glad I decided to headbutt a Maserati, rather than, say, a Honda Accord or something. That would make for a pretty boring story.

Seven Cycles shits bed on Earth Day

High-end bicycle manufacturer Seven Cycles has taken advantage of Earth Day to sucker eco-conscious yuppies into buying a $6000 bike. How? By releasing the Seven “Muse”, aka the “Earth Day Bike”.

The idea behind this bike is to minimize the environmental impact of it’s production. Fair enough. Seven has gone to great lengths to do this, such as sandblasting the frame instead of using adhesive decals, which contain harmful chemicals. The bikes will even be shipped to their buyers in a reused box and packing materials.

Seven’s marketing manager’s explanation behind the bike’s philosophy: “…we designed the bike to promote sustainability and responsible resource use on a daily basis. We’re trying to add value for the rider who seeks not only fitness and convenience, but is environmentally conscious.”

Sounds pretty admirable so far, doesn’t it? Then we get to the part where the whole thing comes crashing down around Seven’s ears. The product description contains the following information on the Muse’s construction: “For US$5,900, you can be the proud owner of a 15-pound beauty, highlighted with Chris King components, Seven’s titanium Tiberius bar, titanium stem and new titanium seatpost…”

It also mentions later on that the Muse’s frame is made of straight-guage titanium.

Oops.

I guess no one told Seven that titanium refinement is horrendously bad for the environment, and unlike alternative frame materials like steel or aluminum, most of the world has no infrastructure in place to recycle titanium.

A bit more on titanium refinement, from the link above: “Since the early 1950s, titanium has been produced through the Kroll process. Manufacturers first make titanium chloride, which gets processed into titanium tetrachloride, and then mixed with magnesium, which draws out the titanium and produces chlorine gas. The result is a porous material, contaminated with magnesium salts, which requires further processing to remove the salts and make it usable for manufacturing. The process is so toxic that it’s difficult to get the permits needed to build a new plant in order to expand production.”

Well done, Seven. Well done.

More bike nerding.

My quest for the perfect frame continues.

Finding a suitable road frame for a fixed-gear build is not usually difficult. But when you’re extremely choosy, and strapped for cash…it gets difficult really quickly. The scoop is pretty much this:

Pros:

• I’m a very average frame size, and there’s tons of frames that fit me around.
• Road bikes are pretty cool right now, so lots of people are digging out their old bikes and putting them up for sale.
• I’m not necessarily looking for anything too primo.

Cons:

• I’m a Miyata fanboy, and would thus reeeeally like a Miyata frame to work with.
• My budget is somewhat wanting.
• I loathe the spray-bomb/powdercoat trend, and want a frame with the original decals.

And so it continues…